I took my first surfing lesson in Sayulita in January.
But before we get to that, I need to zoom out just a bit, because this story starts in November of last year, when I found out that Ben was going to be spending the winter – all of January, February, and March – in Palo Alto. We have done long distance before, and that wasn’t why I knew I couldn’t stay behind. I was afraid of the cold and the gray and the loneliness and the slowness of winter combined, and I didn’t know how to weather it (ha) while also missing my person. Facing that, I wasn’t going to sit at home for three months and feel sorry for myself or jealous of his adventure. Instead, I made my own plan to work on some creative projects I’d been desperate to bring to life, which is how I found myself in Sayulita, Mexico for the month of January.
I went for a three week intensive yoga teacher training, which is another story for another day, but arrived in Sayulita a few days early to rest and reflect on the year ahead and make a plan for my own creative adventure (oh hi Mom, sorry I didn’t tell you that I was there by myself for a bit, but I know how you worry when I travel alone). And when I couldn’t sit still any longer after two days of soul searching, I booked a surfing lesson because if you go to Sayulita, you can’t leave without at least trying surfing. Of course, then I spent a sleepless night worrying about stepping on sting rays and getting stung by jellyfish or bashing my head open on a rock hidden in the sand beneath the waves, thanks to some delightful yelp reviews.
As scared as I was about getting into the ocean – and I’m always scared of this big, beautiful expanse of constantly changing unknown, no matter how much I also love everything about it and being in it – that surfing lesson was one of the highlights of those three months of adventure. Standing up on the board, however, was my greatest success of the day. It was a revelation on seeing where I was supposed to end up and trusting my body instinctively knows how to get there even when my brain wants to overthink every step of the way. It was exhilarating riding waves and overcoming fear with fun.
A month later, after I’d left Sayulita for Southern California, I took another surfing lesson (and this time, the night before I dreamed of being dismembered by sharks). Please tell me I’m not the only one who secretly hopes they’ll be good at something just by trying it – thanks tv and movies for those unrealistic expectations. Spoiler alert, I probably won’t ever be a pro surfer; boogie boarding really is more my speed. But if you find yourself in surfing towns, well I guess do as the Romans and all that jazz. Surfing is also a bit like gambling – almost catching a wave just makes you want the next one even more. And there will always be another opportunity waiting on the horizon.
A few weeks later, as I was walking along the beach at sunset, I was contemplating what I would write a book about if given the opportunity. Photographing a book is very much on my bucket list, but imposter syndrome creeps in and makes me question what I know enough about that could fill a book – or what I’m even an expert in. I still don’t have an answer to that question, but I do know this: when picking a topic for a paper or a thesis in school, it never started with what I was already an expert in; it started with a question or something I wanted to learn more about. Curiosity motivated me to research and learn something new, so by the time the paper was turned in, I might have been an expert on the topic, but certainly wasn’t when I started.
So while I may not be a professional surfer or a prodigy after two lessons, I’m still enthralled with the potential of each wave and how it changes as it moves toward the shore. And if what I said before about photographing a book has you thinking that I have a book of surfing photos waiting to be published, I hope you know something I don’t, but also please don’t get my hopes up cause my imagination will run away over that rainbow. Nope, all of this is to say that you don’t have to be an expert to do that thing you want to do, and you can and should do it just for fun to see how it turns out or to learn something new. I’m the queen of waiting until feeling comfortable and confident that I can do something perfectly before doing it, and surfing taught me that I don’t have to be.
Huge thanks to Emily Karrer for letting me tag along on one of her surf breaks. Photos taken with Nikonos V using Kodak Ektar 100 and Nikon D750.
