COMMITTED

Three years ago, I started doing morning pages after reading The Artist’s Way. Two pages of a college-ruled notebook, hand written with my favorite Pilot G2 0.7mm pen (about 20-30 minutes, depending on how easily the words are flowing), to check in with myself and the creative channel and get the gunk out, Monday through Friday.

The Creative Com*Post was originally hatched as a way to pull the good shit out of the morning pages, but I’m finding that some things are okay to just live in the morning pages, and there are other things I want to share or expand on here.

But the point of telling you about the morning pages is this: mornings are me time, and this is my sacred practice.

There are many mornings that what shows up in my morning pages is a reaction to something I’m currently reading. Sometimes there’s an idea that sticks with me long after I’ve explored it in morning pages – or a question that needs to be held before it can be answered.

I came across a piece of research in this book that found that envisioning an outcome (like winning a game) does not actually have any impact on the outcome at all. What DOES impact outcomes is imagining and feeling excited about the process (like showing up for practice and being part of a team) it takes to achieve the outcome. Put another way, wanting something isn’t enough – you have to also imagine and desire the path to the thing you want; you have to feel excited about the practice, not just the performance.

I have committed to a lot of performances in my life, from voice recitals to teaching yoga to photographing wedding days. Writing for public consumption is a type of performance, too. And I cannot tell you how many of those things I have quit because I only wanted the win of performing well and was not committed to the rest of the work it took to make those things happen.

So the question that I struggled to answer (and am still sitting with) is this: what are the practices that I’m willing to commit to, that I feel excited about and want to move toward, that give me energy AND cultivate the resilience I need to do the work I want to do in the world?

Morning pages is undoubtedly one of them. Taking the time to physically write out my feelings connects me to myself, to my body, and forces me to slow down first thing in the day. It becomes an intentional way of thwarting the hurry, hurry, hurry voice. And it has the added benefit of being practice for writing and sharing here.

And this is the heart of why I created Meet me on the mat on Monday (or whatever other containers I create after this). If I’m going to participate in capitalism, I want to use my participation to create tools and experiences that make a practice enjoyable and something that feels good to commit to. Because how many things have we committed to because we’re told “it’s good for us” and yet it feels absolutely terrible?

I also can’t say that morning pages, relaxation, mindful movement, meditation, or any other creative practice is always pleasurable. But my hope for myself and for all of us is that we can find practices that help us create space or cultivate the exact skills and abilities we need to create the lives we want to live, ones that are intentional and deeply nourishing.